Today our staff went through a training on the process of forgiveness. This is important for us to know about as we work with the girls towards their inner healing. It is also good for us to look at for ourselves. It never hurts to check and see if we have anyone to forgive in our lives, and to work towards forgiveness. Some of the adverse effects of not forgiving are anger, depression, anxiety, and high blood pressure. None of that sounds good.
We hope to help the girls in our home at least start the process of forgiving. The first step is to acknowledge that you have anger towards a person and to face it. Many girls will bury their anger or make excuses for the abuser. We want them to come to a place where they can see a rightful anger towards the abuser, which is the first step in forgiveness.
We also learned what forgiveness is not. It is not forgetting the offense. It is not making excuses for the wrong done to us. It is not a quick thing we say when someone says, “I’m sorry.”
One of the best things we learned is that when a girl becomes angry about something or someone and it seems to be an over-reaction, that it could be that she has anger towards someone that needs to be dealt with. And we learned that we will need to show the girls grace as they work through their anger.